My Two Cents On That Million Dollar Compound

By Michael Watt

By now we’ve all come to terms with the shocking news about the demise of Mr. bin Laden. What has yet to be discussed  - at least as far as I can tell – is  Osama bin Laden’s “million dollar compound.”

I looked at the pictures and all I could think was: That’s what a million dollars gets you in Pakistan? Gee whiz – and we thought the real estate market on Long Island was tough. How much does barbed-wire cost, anyway? I don’t know who should get fired (or shot, given the territory) first: Osama’s real estate agent, architect or cleaning lady.

Also noted was the fact that the compound did not have cable tv or the Internet. What’s up with that? A million bucks and you can’t even stay in touch with your friends on Facebook. That’s not right.

Imagine ObL trying to build that compound on Long Island – now that’s a zoning board hearing I wouldn’t mind sitting through.

“Eh, Mr. bin Laden, you say you need a fence a mile long and eight feet high, but the town ordinance only allows for a three-quarter-mile fence 7.9 feet  high. Can you explain why we should grant you an variance?”

Where’s Dick Amper when you need him?

Media reports also mentioned that the spies were tipped off because the terrorists burned their garbage instead of putting it to the curb. It never occurred to me terrorists would have to deal with such mundane things as taking out the garbage.

I can hear the arguments now. “This place is a pig sty and stinks to high heaven! Whoever had the Gajar Halwa Pizza last night has to burn the boxes before we start the meeting to plan our next Jihad.”

And how would you like to be the sanitation engineer working the route that has Osama bin Laden’s house on it? I’ll bet you those guys don’t leave the emptied garbage cans in front of Osama bin Laden’s garage door like my guys do, no matter how much I tip them at Christmas.  Do they even tip garbage men in Pakistan? I wonder.

It will be interesting to see what happens to the compound. Does it become Pakistan’s answer to Graceland?

All I know is I am glad bin Laden is gone and will be even happier when the United States weans itself off the oil and renders that part of the world irrelevant and meaningless.

Thank you for reading this blog.

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